125.4, so up 1 lb. It's okay, I can bounce back from this. Not the end of the world, right? So it was so good to work with Stacy again. I met her when I was 13 at a different gym. My mom had signed both of us up. I could only take classes until I was 15 or 16 or something like that, but that was fine. I was never really into weights back then. I fell in love with taking the classes. My favorite instructors were Jean, Doug, and of course Stacy. I never missed one of her classes, ever.
When I got old enough to be able to use the weight room, I requested her as my trainer. I don't know what it is, but there is just something about her that I really liked. I never felt like she was judging me because of my weight, she took the time to really go over everything with me to make sure I got it and she was always available to answer my questions. I am thinking that's what all trainers should be like, but maybe it's just her demeanor or something. She has seen me yo yo back and forth through the years, and it's always a little embarrassing (for me) when I see her if I had let myself go.
Anyway, the last time I saw her was years ago (I was thin at the time) and we talked, I had run into her some place random like the store or something. She said she no longer worked at the old gym, but at this new place (which is on the same road as the old place, we have like a million gyms in this freaking town!) and that if I decided I wanted to go back to the gym to come see her. I was working out at home at the time (because I was a college kid and broke as it was without adding the expense of a gym).
So I get to the gym yesterday and drop off the kids only to see a sign that yoga was cancelled for the day. Well crap, I'm already here and I only have an hour til I have to meet Stacy, it would be stupid to go home. So I decide to take Stacy's class instead. Step interval which apparently is step and strength training. I had never taken it, but I really liked it, it was fun. After class Stacy and I were walking to her desk so I could fill out paperwork and we could discuss my goals and she gave me the biggest compliment ever! Keep in mind, I have already taken 3 classes with her at this point. So she says, "I've been watching you in the classes you've been taking, and you just jumped right back in. I'm impressed, it looks like you've been able to keep your fitness level up, it's like you never left." Woah, wow! Really? I then informed her that I'm not quite where I used to be since after taking her step class on Monday I was unable to walk for 2 days, lol! I don't know, but for a trainer, a fitness professional to say that I am doing that well even though I haven't set foot in a gym in about 6 years is just incredible to me, and it made me feel really good! We went over what I wanted to get out of this, she showed me some of the machines, I got a little weight training session in and we touched on nutrition.
I am super excited to hit the gym today although I won't be able to take a class because I have a very important appointment at 11 which totally messes with my plan I had laid out originally. Yes, today is finally the day! Tattoo time! I know, I know, I just got one but f*ck it, I'm getting another. I am really really enjoying my new found freedom. Ever since my relationship ended, it's like this weight has lifted. I feel like a bird who was help in captivity and some one accidently forgot to close my cage all the way and now I'm out. I know that sounds incredibly stupid, but you guys have no clue what the last 7 years of my life had been like. I literally felt like a prisoner. and I was to a certain extent. But I don't have to answer to anyone anymore. I can go where ever I want whenever I want. I can hang out with who I want. I spent what should have been the best years of my life being caged up like an animal. I want to take my life back before I'm too old and that is exactly what I am doing. I mean, I have the kids so I can't go bananas, I can keep myself in check.
I know a lot of you can probably at least kind of relate to what I'm saying You've been held prisoner too, but not by a spouse/signifigant other, but by yourselves. By your weight. And I've been there too, you can see that from my pictures. Maybe not to the extent that some of you have, but enough where I couldn't wear what I wanted to wear, enough where I didn't want to go out (with the family to dinner or whatever which is the only time I was "allowed" out) because I was embarrassed of how I looked. But now, now I am free from him, I am free from my weight, I am just free. And so I want to live it up. I have paid my dues, I have earned every tattoo, every piercing, every date, everything. I earned it. And as long as my kids are taken care of first, as long as my bills are paid and there is food on the table, as long as I don't neglect my kids (which as you can see from my pictures and read about here all the fun stuff we do clearly I don't) then f*ck it. I'm going to do what I want. I'm not old, but I'm not getting any younger. I do not want to waste anymore time, anymore of my life. And I won't. I'm ready to start living.