Friday, September 30, 2011

Square One

My entire life I have been battling my weight.  I have always always always been successful when it comes to losing weight.  I am the weight loss queen.  While keeping my food down and without the aide of diet pills I have been known to drop 3-4lbs a week.  That's not including my 1st week.  My 1st week dieting ever back when I was in high school I dropped 14lbs.  No joke.  Now that I'm a bit older (late 20's) it's more like 5-6lbs the 1st week, and sometimes if I'm really committed the 2nd and 3rd weeks as well.

I am done with the up and down roller coaster, I have gained this weight for the last time and I am going to lose it for the last time.  When I was pregnant with my son I gained a whopping 108lbs.  Yes, I took eating for two quite literally.  I dropped 40lbs of it before I got pregnant with my daughter and put it all back on.  After I had her I dropped every last pound, and got down to my original pre pregnancy weight, only to gain 55 of it back.  Last year I got to within 15lbs of my goal, and didn't manage to move the scale for a whole 2 months, at the end of which I said "Screw this" and started gaining again. 

I am currently 64.6lbs heavier than I would like to be (I have rounded it up to 65 it's just easier) and I have had it.  I'm sick of not feeling well, being tired all the time, being self concious, not having clothes that fit.  I am just sick of being fat.  I have two children I need to be setting an example for and I feel like I am failing them. 

Officially I started yesterday.  I am weighing in at 179.6, which is much too much for my tiny 5'0" frame.  I need to get to 115.  Okay, let's do this......