I didn't go to WW last night. I was really looking forward to WI but things got all kinds of screwy yesterday. My mom took the day off work and wanted to take the kids and I to lunch. Hello Ihop. I got my usual Simple & Fit 2x2x2 which is a whopping 400 calories but keeps me full ALL DAY. This of course wa AFTER I had gone to the mall to look for some school stuff and treated myself to Auntie Anne's. Whatever. I only went over last night by 30 grams of turkey breast, a sandwich thin, 2 90 calorie dinner rolls made into mini pb&j's (really didn't even use a full tablespoon of peanut butter) and a 90 calorie Twix ice cream. Compared to the binges I've had the last few weeks, that is NOTHING. And I also took the kids on a nice after dinner walk.
So what went so horribly wrong? P had court for something that happened back in May and got slapped with a 30 day jail sentence. Now 30 days over in county is nothing. He's done 6 months before. BUT this means that he now does not have a job, and (as we learned from when he did the 6 months) he can't file for unemployment when he gets out since going to jail is apparently considered voluntarily leaving your job. Um, last time I checked no one exactly volunteers to go to jail. I know, I know, they mean that you voluntarily committed an act which could land you in jail, just sayin' though. And what does all this mean exactly? Well this means that AGAIN I am the one who has to tell the kids daddy's in jail. That's a fun conversation let me tell you. And this is the 4th or 5th time I have had to have this talk with them in the last 3 years. It really doesn't get any easier. That alone is enough to make me want to go pound a six pack when they go to bed. I didn't, but it was tempting, not gonna lie.
And on top of having that lovely conversation with my 4 and 6 year olds this also means that now I have to pay for A's preschool AGAIN. I paid for her last year. Well, my mom paid, but I worked it off. We were still together at the time and he was working then. God forbid he pay for his own child. He had money for other thingd but not for her school. So I told him he had to pay this year. Well that's not going to happen now. And so I'm probably going to have to cancel my trip. Oh well. She needs to go to school, not much I can do about it.
Just to clear things up, I have no problems paying for things for my kids. I love them dearly and would do anything for them, and I do it with a smile on my face. I made the choice to have children, and I wouldn't trade motherhood and all it's responsibilities for anything in this world. My point is that P also made the decision to have children and he gets upset when I call them "my" kids, he always says to me "They're not YOUR kids, they're OUR kids." Well okay then maybe you should ACT like it. I really have no tolerance for people that are part time parents. You can't pick and choose when it's convienent for you to be a parent. Once you have a child that you have decided to keep then you are a parent 24 hours a day 7 days a week for the rest of your life. That's just how it is. And I don't mean to bash P's parenting. He loves the kids, he really does, but what baffles me is that I know he would take a bullet for either of them without even thinking about it, but he just refuses to pay for stuff for them unless it's something fun that he wants to do. Like going out to eat, or going down the shore, or the zoo.
So that's my vent du jour. In happier news, we are getting ready to go spend the day on the lake on my parent's boat, so that should be fun. This is the kids' first time on the boat, I hope they like it.
I'm really sorry this conversation with the kids needs to happen again. :-(
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