New Day

I feel better now that I actually got some sleep.  I will feel MUCH better after I go for my run.  I haven't ran in 2 days!  I feel like such a slacker.  I did go for a couple of 4 mile walks though and yesterday I did 10 minutes of BBL's TT, and I did the first 25 min of Jillian's NMTZ.  So it's not like I have been completely lazy.  I haven't been running because my knees were really hurting.  I think going for runs 5 days a week is accpetable though and I am looking forward to really hitting the pavement in an hour.

My dad called me last night, my grandfather had to go for a CAT Scan.  He's been having tremors or something.  Not sure what the results are, I haven't heard yet.  It's so weird.  The last few years I have kind of been prepping myself for him to die.  Not because he was in poor health (although he had already had a hip replacement prior to this year plus a pace maker and I want to say double bypass), but because he is in his 80's and people don't live forever.  But now it just seems so much more real, and I think what hurts me the most is, as I said in yesterday's post, he's suffering.  And I hate it.  My grandfather is a good man who deserves to die peacefully in his bed, not in some random place with i.v.'s and tubes and not being able to remember where he is or who his family is.

Anyway, I think I'm done talking about that.  I don't feel like having a full on cry fest at the moment.  I stepped on the scale this morning.  Up 1.4.  WTF.  I have been using some of my weeklies, but I've been tracking everything and obviously I have been exercising.  I keep trying to tell myself that I had a huge loss last week and my body might just be trying to balance, plus I did weights yesterday and so I may have some fluid in my muscles.  But that's not helping.  I should take my measurements, it's about that time.  One good thing though, I was walking around in my bra looking for a shirt the other day and I looked in the mirror and I could see the outlines of a 6 pack!  I have a 6 pack!  Now I just need to get rid of the fat that's on top of it. Son of a bitch.