Frustration & Craziness

I just can't see it.  I look in the mirror and I don't see a skinny person.  And I don't "feel" like a skinny person.  What's a skinny person supposed to feel like anyway?  I saw a friend of mine last week that I haven't seen in a year and a half.  We've been friends literally our whole lives, since we were 3.  Well, she's a year younger than me, so she was 2, but whatever.  And she was always so thin and pretty and everything I always wanted to be.  And every time I stood next to her I felt so.....frumpy.  Well now, we're about the same.  I may even weigh less than her .  But standing next to her I still felt like the fat friend.  Why?  Will this horrible feeling of being the fat, frumpy, unattractive friend EVER go away?  I really wish I knew how to get past this.

Anyway, school is in full swing.  I have only been to he gym once this week.  I had every intention of going today, but my friend was in need of transportation, so I skipped.  I won't be going tomorrow since I have to go to work in the morning.  I WILL be at spinning Friday morning no matter what.  Saturday I can't, R has soccer and I just found out that they are now accepting 4 year olds, so A will b joining this week.  She's been asking to do soccer for a while now.  R's session is from 10-11 and A's will be 11-12.  And I WILL be at the gym Sunday, Monday, and Wednesday this coming week.  And I will NOT use not going to the gym as an excuse not to exercise.  I did go for an hour long walk yesterday with my daughter, so while it's not great, it's better than nothing.

Anyway sorry this is so short, I need to get ready for the PTO meeting tonight.  I really want to be as involved as I can, I think it's very important.